With adverts like this, how can I help loving Irn Bru?

If you can bounce in six inch heels all night and still walk home in your bare feet,
If you can keep two passions burning bright and see if there's still some romance in defeat

If you can hit a foreign beach without a tan or brave the howling sleet in just a shirt,
If you know you're easily a better man when side by side with suits in just a skirt

If you can party in the summer rain with kamakaze midgies in the mud,
Or grit your teeth and put up with the pain of seeing in the new year in the scud

If you can wait and wait for 1p change then proudly give the lot to charity
And know for certain it's not strange to call your lunch "dinner" and your dinner "tea",
If you can handle folk to call you Jock then you'll have really earned your Irn Bru,

You'll thank your mum for keeping you in stock and what is more
You'll feel phenomenal too

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